


Any David Fincher comparison is enough to get me in a theater to decide for myself what is the TRUTH!!!!
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Put your seatbelt on because we are reviewing The Batman (2022).
WHAT. A title card, I didn’t get a picture of it in the theater but the image shown above is childs play.
The title card in the movie is saying THRILLER, ACTION, CINEMA!!!!!
The Riddler’s first appearance is sickening he’s WEIRD we get it. Oh murder? Word.
Paul Dano is such a good actor, god bless him but if I ever see him in these streets… it’s on SIGHT!!!


This voice over is giving me everything I need to know about this Batman.
He’s observant.
He’s depressed.
He gets the job DONE.
I love that they emphasize the sound of his steps, slow and heavy, to instill fear on what essentially is his prey. (The fact that they didn’t incorporate the sound into the score….
Michael Giacchino I just wanna TALK.)
But also, the slow walking out of the shadows is giving
Edward stepping into the light in New Moon (2009)
I’m sorry!!!
But it’s also HOT!!! VENGEANCE,OK, GURLIE I’M LISTENING!!!
Martínez calling Batman a freak.. we been knew.
Also, I too would hold my hand up to Batman’s chest UNINTERUPED FOR 30 seconds.
NEXT
He’s so emo, I can’t.
Obsessed.
Never been done before.
Bats when he enters the bat cave…this is CINEMA!!!
Ok but Bruce creating a contact lens that records his life????? When we selling that product Apple???
Get to work like little miss Kimberly Kardashian says.
“You’re not my dad” ~ talk so early in the movie….yeah.
We are gonna get hurt HARD.
NOT the Teen Wolf twins!!!
“The suit is gonna get filled with blood.”
“Mine or yours?”
UM OK. Count me down for h*rny AND scared.
Collin Farrell’s transformation is ALOT. I understand the controversy of the fact that there are actors that actually look like this character and I kinda side with the fact that those people should have been cast but this guy is literally just having a silly goose time and I’m here for it.
Zoë Kravitz walks in to hear “just vengeance here, he don’t bite” and she’s like OK BUT WHAT IF I WANT HIM TO, same girl, same.
This dude literally changed out of his suit into regular clothes for a little car chase to change back into it 5 min later, he’s working OVERTIME.
Zoë is serving skinny like Mariah, she also looks like a Barb in this wig, I RESPECT her!
The Riddler going live on insta is killing me, ok influencer,
go off!!!
“Could have pulled on that punch!”
“I did”
LOL OK
I’ve seen many tweets about the stylistic choices of the car chase and I think it was impeccably done. The fact that the camera is always looking back at the Penguin and chasing forward when it’s on the Batman - conveying the fact that he WILL catch his target. Strong choice. I like the fact even though it’s dark, like most of the movie, the action is what brings light to the frame.
"And so, we found all those shots, and then- one of them, the one in particular with the upside-down, I was like, well, I'm into this very Hitchcockian point of view — putting the camera in the subjective point of view of the character. So you can put the audience into that experience. So I thought it would be great if, at the end of all this propulsive, French Connection sort of craziness, to suddenly be in The Penguin's point of view as he's lying upside down as you have this sort of mythic appearance of Batman with fire raging behind him."
- Matt Reeves, Director of The Batman, for
Cinemablend’s Reelbend podcast
The shot of The Batman walking towards the Penguin’s wrecked car will live rent free in my mind. Cinematography Oscar win that will never be televised because the Academy hates us is IN the bag.
The Penguin teaching Gordon and Batman Spanish…
representation matters, stay in school!!!
PAIN
Gurl this hospital got no lights?!
Matt Reeves SAID emo lighting EVERYWHERE, PERIOD.
As per Zoë and Rpatz’s dynamic, I will have to say that I agree with this Tik Tok
.
Their chemistry is more palpable off screen. Rpatz’s Batman is too focused on solving the case but then he has to make sure that his girl crush doesn’t get hurt - one of the best sequences in the film, in my opinion.
He’s definitely interested in her and he wants to kiss her but he’s a virgin/peeping Tom who can only drive fast,
Batman gotta got [movie cuts to black].
I believe this is the end of the scrip if I am not WRONG.
This movie says Batman lives in dark opulence. Wayne Tower has never been so gloomy - mom and dads room locked by chains and locks? Just so that their room remains perfectly intact???
It’s giving Rebecca but the good one, not the cannibal’s version!
Gotham has never looked more gothic, rundown, and in chaos.
I love that we come into the story with a vigilante not a hero. Just fear. Just vengeance. This is the story of a hero being pushed forward out of the shadows he was built from to become what his city NEEDS.
9/10 because even though it was really well paced I really had to pee by the last half hour
Further comments:
It’s giving depressed horniness and it’s GIVING HARD
Everyone has daddy issues here, solidarity.
Academy award to RPatz chin and eye acting he really had me going when we saw the whites of his eyes during the car chase and in the interrogation scene where those lips got so thin out of white RAGE.
To everyone mad that this Batman isn’t a playboy.
Grow up!
Can’t you see this man has a JOB!!!!
Everyone is saying that Reeves took direction from Fincher’s Se7en but what I believe, and I can talk about this extensively, is that he wanted to give us Lisbeth Salander as a male super hero and I’ll stick by THAT!

I know someone sneaked “What If We Could” on that movie set for the final scene to get these actors pumped to close off the movie - and by pumped I mean depressed enough to cry while driving
(been there)!!!!!
Hall of fame tweets that relate to our favorite Batman:



Go watch this in theaters, stream in on HBO Max, lets get those box office numbers goingggg.
Thanks for reading - see you next time!
Penguin being a Hispanic/Latinx ally 😤😤 also glad we, the depressed, horny, yet productive demographic is being SEEN